As I sit here donning my clown costume and my methadone drip, I can't help but reflect on the greatest day of sports that everyone had to work through.
Ahh yes, let's start in reverse order:
- The Cavaliers are -400 for Game 5 against the Magic. Yep - Dee-Wight Howard and Weed-O Turk-O-Glue are underdogs by 7.5 points. Why? Chalk that one up to a Cleveland home game. Shit, if I could still bet on the NBA playoffs, I would be very tempted to buy as many points as possible and put a huge sum on Orlando. Fortunately/Unfortunately for me, I lost $130 on the Lakers in Game 4 against the Rockets (see past posts, telling you to bet the farm against Houston on the eve we learned of Yao's injury).
- OK, moving on - the Lakeshow dominated the Denver Thuggets. Birdman started out flying high as a kite on eagle's wings, but LO (Odom) stepped in and clipped his wings. Shannon Brown also threw down on the Birdman, as the story of that game was the Lakers' inside post presence. Fuck, as stated in prior posts here - the key to Lakers' victory in every series lies inside the post. Some games they do it, other games they don't. Props to ESPN's Tim Legler - he said that if Odom puts up a bunch of points and rebounds, then the Lakers win. Odom did (19 points, 14 rebounds, 4 blocked shots), and Legler is right. Game 6 might be a totally different story, given the bipolar nature of these teams. Still, I would have to think taking the Lakers + points is the smart bet there.
- The Dodgers swept the Rockies, who just dominated the Tigers. Riddle me this, you East Coast-leanin' bastards --- if the NL West is so weak, then how did the worst team in the NL West fucking take two of three games from one of the best teams - if not THE BEST team - in the AL Central, in Detroit of all places??? That alone should nominate the AL Central for worst division. Ozzie Guillen, eat your fuckin' heart out. (I can already anticipate what Ozzie's gonna say, "Eessnadabeegdeal....to heeen!" Well Ozzie, I'm already wishing I had upped my preseason three-digit bet on the Dodgers to win the division (at -120) to a four or a five-digit bet.
- "Rome is burning. It has been set ablaze, by the Catalan Conquerers!" (quote from the ESPN broadcast) Yes, for all you soccer heads, Barcelona kicked the shit outta AIG, err...., I mean Manchester United. For us Americans, I think it's now officially less than one year until the 2010 World Cup --- the greatest gambling event on Earth. Inside information rules, and soccer heads can kick the shit outta the American sportsbooks (many of whom I suspect just copy the lines they see from their overseas colleagues). And btw, Jim Rome's crotch is also burning from all those late nights with his drones, or clones, or whatever the fuck he calls his douchebag army.
OK, well, I'm sobering up too quickly. Time to get a new methadone IV without fucking up the clown costume. Tomorrow - LeBron v. the World!
